Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Thirtysomething

So, I've entered the age of the "Thirtysomethinger."
When I turned 29, I was all mentally prepared that I would soon turn one year older, so that when the day arrived I could own that age -- I could wear that number.
Thirty. 30. thur-tee. Three-O. 30.
I remember even feeling a bit of excitement, as though turning 30 would allow me membership into some sort of social club -- but doesn't entering every decade do this to a person from when they're 19 turning 20, onwards?
Not that it really matters -- as the trite saying goes, "30 is the new 20", but is it really?
I remember turning 20 and thinking that I was officially an adult. I clutched onto a new set of freedoms - ones where I felt I could be more of myself -- that I could be more carefree and more careless about things because other people's opinions mattered less to me now that I was officially an adult. Instead, my opinion was paramount; being 20 endowed me with a kind of personal vision and voice that I lacked in previous years. I was one of those Twentysomethingers who felt heroic and unbeatable. I owned every step that I took and scoffed at those in my past who made my teen years miserable and awkward. (For those of you who knew me personally back then, you know how much of a lie that turned out to be. Most of those ideas about myself were cinematic clich├ęs that played in my head, but really I was still that hormone filled, ill-confident, self-brooding and melancholic teen who lived in the body of a 20 year old.)
But now that I'm in my 30s things are beginning to look up (or down depending on what day it is).I encounter more and more moments in my life which remind me that I'm an adult. I'm more certain about my personal voice. I'm equally as obstinate as I ever was. And although I'm still carefree, I'm also more careful than careless nowadays -- about everything. No it's not fear, though some may look at it that way, rather it's more of the experience of having lived 29 years already, and knowing the probability and possibilities of what might happen based on my experiences of the past. Call it a hypothesis of the future... maybe.
There was a show in the mid-90s called "Thirtysomething." I wish I paid more attention to it. I can't comment on it at all since I've never seen any episodes of it, but I bet there were things that I could've learned and used today. I guess it was because I was too busy leading my Twentysomething life back then.

4 comments:

Francis Vallejo said...

looking forward to see what you produce in this new era...haha
cheers!

maria.t said...

happy b-day.
oh-i'll be 30 this year 2008.
anyway cool website!
hung out soon!

maria tanikawa

Chris said...

Self assurance of who you are and who you want to become are both things that come from wisdom over time. These are great things and because of them, I should think that we as people should embrace our future years as the best of our lives.

Hi Marcos. This is Chris from the Zankel Scholar Competition this summer and I thought I'd let you know I just put together a blog. Its all I can do for now, I don't learn web page making for another year yet, but it has some of my art on it and I saw you on Blogger and thought I'd say Hey!. so.. Hey. hope all is swell.

-Christina

Marcos Chin said...

thanks francis... i'm looking forward to it too... but right now, i have no clue.